My friend and I like to play a game. Often while working away on our studies at a coffee shop, we’ll stare outside the window at passers-by and wait for their glance to meet our eyes. Just at that moment we’ll surprise them with a big smile. While they might look a little bemused, it never fails; they inevitably catch the smile disease, and smile right back at us.

The power of a smile should never be underestimated. It is the language of happiness. It really costs nothing, it extends your life expectancy and elevates your mood, which provides a wide host of positive kickbacks (such as, reduction of blood pressure and stress induced hormones). Most importantly it is seriously contagious. Now that’s something worth catching! It is an expression universally spoken and understood across various cultures. In fact, it may be the first language a baby learns.

Not surprisingly, some researchers have found smiling to be positively associated with emotional experience, memory and cognition. In the famous Nun Study, researchers Deborah Danner, David Snowdon, and Wallace Friesen, at the University of Kentucky, looked at the autobiographies written by nuns entering the convent in early adulthood. They found the nuns with positive emotional content autobiographies were strongly associated with longevity 6 decades later. Snowdon has conducted additional studies (now at the University of Minnesota) looking at the brains of nuns when they die. Remarkably, he’s found that while many were functioning normal, a significant amount of them actually had full blown Alzheimer’s disease, despite not showing any symptoms. 

There is something about a smile that makes us feel better and also those around us. Think about your day to day experiences, and how service with a smile changes your perception of your waitress, doctor, or bank clerk. Likewise, have you ever noticed that smiling also has the ability to make someone appear instantly more attractive? It has also been found to make women look 3 years younger in age. Who needs anti-aging cream or botox when all you have to do is smile?

And sure there may be times when you don’t feel like smiling, but those are the times that you should smile most. It may feel unauthentic at first, but leave that smile on your face for a solid minute and I guarantee you’ll start to feel better. You can even spice it up with some laughter, and now we’re talking about a smile that you feel through your soul!

So, go ahead start spreading something worth catching. Smile! It looks good on you!

Smiling broadly,
Nicole

To say this has been a hard week is an understatement.  On Saturday I learned of the death of a dear coach, Red Simmons, and just two days later on Monday, the beloved journalist Randy Starkman had passed away.  Both of these individuals were important to me and both of their deaths were of a great surprise.

While Randy Starkman wasn’t just a journalist, he was known as a friend first, to most Canadian athletes.  He genuinely cared about us; and cared about sports in Canada, and the betterment of man kind!   He took a special interest in amateur sports and you could always follow along on his Olympics Blog to catch the latest story in the world of sport.  His stories were written with compassion and excitement.  And while he told our stories he also built connections between athletes. where there was once none.   Throughout my career Randy has interviewed me for various stories, but none was as memorable as when he interviewed me last October for the Enmbridge CN Tower Stairclimb.  We spent the morning discussing the significance of the climb raising money for United Way, and the sheer importance of social responsibility.   This story was off the beaten trail of performance… just about a bunch of athletes getting involved in the community, and he was really interested.  I also got a chance to learn about the various charities he was passionate about and see a side to him I hadn’t been aware of.  There we sat on a bench in front of the CN Tower, chatting for sometime – long after the interview had ended – upon the importance of social responsibility, the power of sports and life in general.  It was a cold day, with the the wind blowing pretty strong, but the conversation was so warm, that it didn’t matter.  As we shared a walk to the Royal York Hotel for 2011 Achievement Awards Presentation Luncheon for Sports Media Canada, I found myself feeling grateful for the likes of Randy.  Wishing more media personnels were like him.  It was him, I had in mind when I wrote a blog titled “Ode to Sports Media,” later that day.  And as I look onto London 2012, his passing feels like a void that will not be replaced. I miss him already.

 Red Simmons was the founder of the Women’s Track & Field team at the University of Michigan, and had long retired when I began competing in the incredible Maize and Blue.  But, even though he had retired and passed on the head coach position to my coach James Henry, he was ever so present.  In fact, he was the second person I met on my recruiting trip to the University of Michigan.  Competing as a master, Red had finished a shot put workout when he walked over to enthusiastically greet me.  Through him, I saw the Michigan Difference and wanted to be a part of this magnificient institution.  He would continue to be an ever present force during my time as undergraduate and even now as I continued to train as a professional track & field athlete.  A constant cheerleader and supporter.  He has been my anthem for healthy living.   You see Red may have been 102 years old when he passed away this weekend, but he epitomized the definition of spry.   He was a quick pace walker, getting from point A to B and FIT!   Certainly not “old” in his action by the standard you and I understand.  In fact, he was known to drive to the old age home to visit the elderly – most of whom were younger than him.   He was a testament to the kind of life a healthy lifestyle offered.  Speaking to him just in January I was sure he’d be around for another year or so…

Both the passing of Randy and Red, reminds me that tomorrow is never guaranteed and that we should each make the most of what today has to offer.   And also, never put off telling someone how much they really mean to you, when you can.  Don’t wait for a eulogy.  While I am grieving now, I do take solace in knowing I am better for have known both Randy and Red.   There are beautiful and amazing people in the world, and how fortunate have I been to know these two individuals.

Love you lots Red & Randy!

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” ~ Charlie Brown

My Wednesday’s Relationship Corner is one that has evolved by chance.  I make no claim to be a relationship expert, yet continue to blog on matters of the heart because… well for some reason people like to read these blogs (and they are also fun to write).   However, when it comes to unrequited love – now that, I believe I could be an expert on!

I say that with no shame, but rather with a sense of humour as I reflect on the girl I use to be.  Oh, to be able to back in time knowing what I now know!!!  It took me a while to understand why I seemed to be a magnet for unrequited love, all the while deflecting the good guys who desired my attention.   But, as Maya Angelou says, “When you know better, you do better,” and I can certainly attest to that!  Moreover, now I am equip to share my body of wisdom as a former Unrequited Love Attractor.

So what exactly is unrequited love?

Quite simply, unrequited love is unreciprocated attraction; you have an interest in someone, who doesn’t seem to want to return the same feelings toward you.  When it comes to matter of the heart, it can seem like your brain and heart do not speak the same language.  They can leave you feeling in a maze of emotional confuse.  While you may understand that someone is not interested in you, or is not right for you, your heart might lead you to languish over someone who does not want to be the recipient of your affection.  It can leave you feeling frustrated, deflated, broken and your esteem in the toilet.   Some may go onto to bare their scar as a shield, reluctant to love or find themselves staring in a self made movie called “Fatal Attraction” or “One Flew Over the Cookoo’s Nest.”

While the sting of unrequited love isn’t so pleasant, it is important to remember that this too shall pass, and really what you need is a survival guide to get through the meantime.   While I can’t guarantee that this is THE survival guide, I am sure that any of these five points will help you on your journey of getting over unrequited love.

1.  Acceptance.
Accepting the reality of the situation may be the most important and biggest step you can can take when dealing with unrequited love.  It is important to keep in mind that someone’s lack of returned affection does not mean you are a bad person, unattractive or unworthy of love.  It simply means for that person you are interested in they are just not that interested in you.  It may not have anything to do with you! It could be a matter of where they are in life.  Who knows?  But, certainly you should not be attempting to figure out a way to “win” their affection!  Anyone, who cannot recognize your own worth and how awesome you are, doesn’t deserve YOU.   Poof! Be Gone! that person and move on!  But you have to accept the situation as it is – you like him/her and they don’t like you.  This step stings a little, and can leave your chest feeling with that sunken feeling.   You may even shed a few tears, but if you can do this first step you are on the way to greener pastors!

2. Remove the Pedestal.
Now while you’ve intellectualized the situation, your brain may be in Canada while your heart is in Australia.  The heart will want, what the heart wants in spite of your brain.   You need your brain and heart to speak the same language.  To help with this, sometimes taking a closer look at your beloved and really seeing ALL of them, may display a different picture.  When we are attracted to someone it is easy to magnify their good qualities while dimming the light on their flaws.  In this step, you want to shine a spotlight on their flaws.  If you struggle with this step recruit a friend.  The point is you want to knock them off of the pedestal you have placed them on.   What you might find is that the torch you were burning wasn’t love at all but simply lust.

3.  Cut-off Communication.
You really need time to get your faculty of self.  Continued communication with someone who is not interested in you will keep you in purgatory, where you’re hanging onto a thread of hope for a possible future relationship.  This hope doesn’t exist.  It is an ILLUSION!  What you really need is time to grieve the loss of someone you never had.   Cutting-off communication means not talking or texting them, or deleting them from Facebook and twitter.  You need them out of your life while you move on past them.  Along with cutting-off communication with the unrequited love interest, you should also limit conversations about him/her with friends.  Talking about them or to them keeps you in a head space about them.  And as long as you are in a head space about them you are not available for the next wonderful person.

4.  Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying.
Idle hands make for an idle mind.  And an idle mind can take you to Fantasy Island, as you lament over someone who is not interested in you.  The best antithesis to idle hands are busy ones!  Throw yourself into a new passion.  Now has never been a better time to try something new, and really enjoy it!  Try taking up cooking, wine tasting, or a new class.  Your mission is to just be busy!   Besides, there is something very alluring about someone who has stuff going on and a LIFE.  Which leads me to my fifth and final point.

5.  Date! Date! Date!
As you begin to cancel the rent space your unrequited love had in your heart and brain, you provide room for new love interests.  Contrary to what you might have thought, that person isn’t the one and only person out there!  In fact, for the first time in Canadian history there are currently more single people than coupled people.  There is literally a buffet of incredible people out there!   So, get out there and date!  But, remember to avoid anyone who doesn’t recognize your incredible worth and that truly YOU matter!

When it comes to matters of the heart, it can be an interesting and at times a difficult journey.   Do not allow a bad experience to turn you into a bitter soul.  Perhaps if true love was so easy to find,  it wouldn’t be as appreciated as it is.  Take your experience with unrequited love as an opportunity to recognize the kind of love you deserve and desire.  Unrequited love  may feel  torturous, but it also can be a blessing in disguise.  Think about this, you could be missing out on the kind of relationship  you deserve if you are with someone who is only sort of interested in you, instead of someone who sees you as the world!

Your relationship non-expert,

Nicole

Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/nicoleforrester

Think about this question, what is the single greatest thing most people will ever own in their life????

No, it’s not a car, a home or even one’s family (if you can actually say you own that).  What I will tell you is that often the true value of this thing is not realized until it is challenged.  What I’m talking about is your Health.  Without health your well-being is compromised; your quality of life is compromised; and your availability for those who need you, like your kids, spouse, friends and work is compromised.  You must take care of yourself before you’ll ever be able to effectively take care of others, and live the quality of life you desire!

You know there is a reason why flight attendants instruct passengers in case of an emergency to secure their own mask on their face BEFORE attempting to secure the mask of someone beside them.  If you lose consciousness because you haven’t secured your own mask, you won’t be able to help anyone around you, let alone yourself.  The same can be said about a poor health.

According to the Canadian Physical Activity Guidelines, adults require “at least 150 minutes of moderate- to vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity per week, in bouts of 10 minutes or more.”  Which means  you don’t have to workout 150 minutes all at once, but rather you can spread it out over the week.

Recognizing the value of a health and physical activity, ParticipACTION has launched Sneak It In Week.  For this week, April 9-13 they are asking people to ditch their loafers and heels and wear sneakers to work, to fit in accumulated physical activity.  Research has shown that small increments of exercise (i.e. 10 minutes) provides the health benefits associated with physical activity.  So, while we know you are busy with that little thing called life here is one way to ensure you are taking caring of the most important thing you will ever own, your Health.

Some of the ways they’ve suggested you can  “Sneak It In” and add 10 minutes of physical activity into your work day include:

• Start a lunchtime walking club
• Book a meeting room for a short yoga session
• Have a walking meeting with colleagues
• Park ten minutes away from the office
• Go “power shopping” and get active while running errands

It is important to remember that the number one cause of death in Canada (and North America) is lifestyle related.  Stated another way, this means a lot of people are dying before their actual expiration date.   Heart disease, stroke, cancer, and diabetes are all preventable by acquiring a healthy lifestyle – good nutrition and exercise.  If you have an unhealthy lifestyle, when would NOW be a good time to change that.   You can undo what years of unhealthy living has done, and if you have a healthy lifestyle no need to stop now.  Give yourself a pat on the back and keep doing what you’re doing!

With the busy schedules that life seems to hand out, Sneak It In is a good way to encourage others to get active and a great way to get started in a healthy direction.  So, go ahead wear your sneakers to work this week and Sneak It In.

Always Sneaking It In,

Nicole

Follow me on twitter at www.twitter.com/nicoleforrester

I can remember it as if it happened yesterday.  I was in the 6^th grade playing soccer with my classmates during a lunch recess when a class bully unexpectedly came from behind and pulled down my pants. There I stood, with my pants down by my ankle and my flowery white underwear exposed for all to see.  I was mortified!

What I was experiencing was the wrath of shame.  There are few emotions that conjure such torture as shame.  But, why?  It’s not like it is causing laceration of the skin, or linked to someone dying.  It’s just an emotion.  Yet, some people may prefer going over Niagara Falls in a barrel than to experience shame.

Researchers McGregor & Elliot (2005) have suggested that this highly aversive emotional experience is rooted in the feeling of self-devaluation. It is no surprise that fear of failure is directly linked to shame. 

Failure… a word most of us are taught from the youngest of age to hold a strong distaste for.   Fear of failure can be a paralyzing phenomenon, preventing people from truly going after what it is they desire, and inevitably settling.  Sometimes people will go so far as to engage in self-handicapping to avoid failure.  Self-handicapping involves withdrawing efforts, placing impediments in one’s way for success thereby creating excuses for why one failed to get the job they wanted, or into the school of their choice or the hot girl across the room.  Similarly, some people may just set extremely low expectations to avoid poor evaluation, known as defensive pessimism.

Both self-handicapping and defensive pessimism preserves self worth and wards off shame, but they also prevent people from realizing their potential and living.  Indeed, the avoidance of shame can become an invisible prison.  At times there seems no length to what people will do to avoid the wrath of shame.

For many people there are few emotions people would rather walk in a burning building than the feeling of shame.  Shame can make someone wish they could crawl under a rock and hide, or that they had the power to roll back the hands of time to have a redo.  This aversive emotion would almost have you believing it was the grim reaper.

The irony is that self-devaluation is within our own control.  But, inevitably we will let the opinions of others decide our own self-worth. What?  Why would anyone want to hand over that power?

What if we took away this power and our avoidance of shame, how much more willing would we be to try something new?  Experience failure?  Set and likely even achieve huge goals?

I believe at the end of the end of the day the only opinion that matter is the opinion we hold of ourselves.  A strong and positive opinion of ourselves allows us to shake off any momentary feeling of shame and possibly laugh at ourselves.

When I think back to that day on the soccer field when my panty was exposed, it might have been a blessing in disguise.  I reached my tipping point and learned to acknowledge my own opinion of myself.  Once I had confronted the feeling of shame that ascended upon me, I turned around and pulverized that bully! I stood up to the thing I had feared and been a source of shame for many years.  That moment would prove to be the first of many times in my life I would learn to confront my fears.

I am reminded of a saying I once heard:  The only thing that gets smaller as we approach it, is fear.  Pause and think about that for a second…  We should all remember it!

Do not be shackled by shame.  No matter what, YOU are amazing and the opinions of others who do not recognize that, does not matter anyways.   Confront your fears and learn to shake of that feeling of shame.  And if all else fails always remember that, this too shall pass.

Shaming shame,

Nicole

Follow me on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/nicoleforrester

SUNDAY’S Lyrics -

I don”t think I have to write much about the power and meaning of this song.  It is truly an inspirational song, that reminds us we are often stronger and wiser than we realize we are.  Experience is just that.  Experience shape us and allows us to be carved into a better version of ourselves… better than the person we were yesterday – if we let it.   (When you know better, you do better!)  Never doubt yourself!  All that you need is within you… and has always been there!

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

You Gotta Be – by Des’ree

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don’t be ashamed to cry

You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Herald what your mother said
Readin’ the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view

My oh my heh, hey
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Don’t ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can’t stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can’t stop it, if you try to
This time it’s danger staring you in the face
Oh oh oh Remember

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears

My oh my heh, hey, hey
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Last week I posted on Twitter and Facebook:

 “Some people forget that stealing doesn’t just involve breaking and entering. There are other shades of stealing, involving intellectual property or plagiarism. But the real crime is when a friend or someone you hold in high regards commits this crime… And you are the victim.”

Last week I was that victim.  Someone I trusted, held in high regards, and had a lot of respect for, stole something of mine I’ve passionately been working on for over a year and unbeknownst to them had actually protected!  AND they were attempting to pass it off as their own!!!  What’s worse is that they involved another party in this deceitful act; and when I confronted both of them, I was encountered by a continuous flow of lies, which they weren’t able to even keep up with.  The irony to this story is that both people position themselves in important ambassador roles. (And no they are not National Team or Olympic Athletes!)

At the discovery of this crime I was in shock!  My hands were shaking and my heart had a sinking feeling.  And while I was upset about the act of theft, I was actually more upset about the betrayal.  Moreover, for such an act to come from individuals I held in high esteem, left me in disbelief.  When I did confront them, their continuance of lies made it really easy for me to accept the betrayal, and realize my previous perception of them was a misrepresentation.   I guess something about seeing someone reveal their true colours, makes it easier to accept a deceitful act.

The problem with a lie is that you have to tell a lie to cover the first lie, and so on and so on.  And before you know it, you’ve orchestrated this web of lies which you can’t even tell where it begins and where it ends.  Ultimately, one lie will be revealed, which will reveal another, and what was once hidden will come to light.   The funny thing is people who have no problem lying, may often begin BELIEVING their own lies!   Imagine that, lying so well that you believe what you are telling is the truth?

 The thing about liars is at the heart of it, they may suffer from low self-esteem, low self-worth, or lack of attention.  They want to be viewed in a favourable light, whether that’s to cover up an offence they just committed, or to impress upon another.  The act of lying is an attempt to achieve a high approval by others.

As a kid, my mom always told me “Speak the truth, cause it what it may,” and its something that I practice and believe in strongly.  The truth may hurt, but it will never hurt as much as a lie.  And while a lie, might hurt others on the receiving end, the true harm comes to oneself.  A lie can only stand to lose one’s honour, credibility, integrity, and the opinions of others.

As for my situation – I had actually taken steps early on to protect myself, in the event that such a situation should occur.  I initially had forgotten I had protected myself, probably adding to my heightened concern and was quickly reminded of this fact…Phew!   (When in doubt always speak to a lawyer!)  Still, no matter how strong your case is it’s never comforting to know suing is your next act of defence.  At this point, I can only hope they do the right thing, but that might be a lot to hope for given their recent actions… Here’s hoping!

 #StealingAndLyingIsWrong

Follow Nicole Forrester on Twitter: www.twitter.com/nicoleforrester

SUNDAYS LYRICS

“Everything wanna be loved.”

One of my favourite movies is The Color Purple.  It is a difficult movie to watch at times and one that can often bring me to tears… However  it is the scene between two of the main characters (Celie and Shug) near the end which resounds loudly.

Shug: More than anything God loves admiration.
Celie: You saying God is vain?
Shug: No, not vain, just wanting to share a good thing. I think it pisses God off when you walk by the colour purple in a field and don’t notice it.
Celie: You saying it just wanna be loved like it say in the bible?
Shug: Yeah, Celie. Everything wanna be loved. Us sing and dance, and holla just wanting to be loved. Look at them trees. Notice how the trees do everything people do to get attention… except walk?

It is a simple exchange of word between two friends, but carries a poignant message for us all – to pay attention to all that surrounds us AND to remember what everyone wants is to feel like they matter and are loved!  I can’t help but echo Maya Angelou’s quote:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Sunday’s Lyrics:

With any pursuit, whether in athletics or in life in general, there will be numerous factors influencing the end results.  However, the common and greatest denominator will always be you.  You cannot control everything, but you can control your efforts, energy, focus, commitment and determination (to name a few).  In some ways, what you put in will determine what you get.   I love this week’s lyrics because the message is that, the real difference-maker is YOU.  You are incredibly powerful, probably beyond comprehension.    You just have to decide if you are willing to go the distance… And I have a feeling that if you truly apply yourself to whatever it is you are passionate about, you won’t be disappointed with the outcome…. It’s just a feeling…

You vs. Them

Whether or not you win this thing, you’ve got to decide how
you’re gonna walk out of here when it’s all said and done.
…because the game is going to go on.
…and there’s only one rule you’re going to need to know about:
“There are no second chances”

There’s only this moment and the next moment.

Every one of those moments is a test that you get to take ONE time and ONLY one time.

So, if you see an opening, tear into it!
If you get a shot at victory, make DAMN sure you take it.

SEIZE that moment!

That moment is a crossroads where everything you want
will collide with everything standing in your way.

You’ve got momentum at your back.

Fear and doubt are thundering like a
freight-train straight at you.
…and all you’ve got –
…the only difference between making history and BEING history
the only thing — the ONLY thing you can count on at any given moment is YOU!

It’s you versus “them”

… you versus “no”
… you versus “can’t”
… you versus “next year”, “last year”, “statistics”, “excuses”

It’s you versus “history”
… you versus “the odds”

It’s you versus “second place”

The clock is ticking.
Let see what you’ve got.

Anyone following me on twitter will catch my frequent tweets about working on my dissertation at various coffee shops. Coffee shops are my sanctuary and library.   It’s also a place where you can meet some pretty cool and interesting people.  At one coffee shop I frequent, I have become friends with this guy who at first glance could be related to Erkel – down to even the Dad jeans and glasses.  Yes, he’s certainly not attractive by conventional standards, but after a moment of chatting with him anyone can see he’s an enlightening and amazing person.  In fact, every time we chat he reminds me about what beauty really is.

If you had the chance to be the most beautiful person in the world or to be a Noble Peace Prize winner, which would you choose?  I am certain in the recess of many people’s brain, beauty would be chosen… And possibly for understandable reasons.

While intelligence is highly lauded, we still live in a time where beauty advances you.  Jessica Bennett from Newsweek points out:

“Handsome men earn, on average, 5 percent more than their less-attractive counterparts (good-looking women earn 4 percent more); pretty people get more attention from teachers, bosses, and mentors; even babies stare longer at good-looking faces (and we stare longer at good-looking babies).”

 Considered another way, how many people would choose beauty in a mate over brains? 

It’s a tough question, because you can’t see someone’s intelligence or personality across a room.  But, you can see beauty.  It’s an attractor, possibly a “trophy” to win or to have on your arm for the rest of the world to see.

The interesting thing about beauty in Western culture, is the power of media to shape our perception of it.  Often seductively dressed teenage models are air brushed, presenting a pseudo image woman of all ages should desire to replicate and men to fantasize about having as an ideal mate.  In fact, the current (February) cover of Canada’s Fashion Magazine a beautiful model named Andrej Pejic graces the cover.  Andrej is actually an androgynous male model who is able to change his looks allowing him to model both menswear and womenswear!  Andrej is a great example of how media can shift our perception of beauty – he is able to present an image both men and women may desire to look like.

Now you may argue you can’t help what you are attracted to and so you cannot fault someone who is guided by their physical attraction.  But, the question I can’t help wondering is: how long does the attraction driven by physical appearance last?  I mean it may initiate your interest, but I can’t believe that that it will hold it.  There has to be something more.  I mean if youth is the standard for beauty, it will inevitably fade with age.

True, there is always plastic surgery and botox, and who knows maybe even a real life “fountain of youth” in the works.   So, many people go under the knife in a quest for beauty, but if you’re not beautiful on the inside first, no amount of cutting and stretching and collagen can truly make anyone feel beautiful.  While beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I believed true beauty often cannot be seen across a room.  But, it is often uncovered in knowing a person.  If only, this fact was something Disney could teach young kids.

As for my coffee shop friend, while he’s no Brad Pitt or Morris Chestnut, I would definitely go on a date with him if he asked me out!

Beyond skin deep beauty,